Ha! This is funny! Not only is Washington DC full of dirty old men popping Viagra and other erectile dysfunction pills, most of the dirty old men can’t even keep it up for more than 2 minutes!

Washington DC Not Only Braindead – Also Premature Ejaculators – Average DC Sex Lasts Just 2 Min!

They say love is eternal – sex, not so much.

According to Euripedes, “He is not a lover who does not love forever.”

Clearly the Greek playwright isn’t talking about sex. At least not around here.

A not-very-scientific ranking of states determined those that have the longest and shortest duration of sex.

Topping the list, by a large margin is New Mexico, where an act of love lasts just over 7 minutes, according to Nerve, an online magazine dedicated to sex, relationships and culture.

The data comes from Spreadsheets, a sex activity app that promises to “track your performance between the sheets.”

The app monitors the users’ movement and audio levels, using the phone’s accelerometer and microphone.

How do we rank around here?

Honestly? Not great.

Maryland is number 16 in the country, with a duration of 3 minutes 15 seconds. The Old Line State has a little old man in it.

While the slogan reads “Virginia is for lovers,” apparently love is very fleeting. Virginia ranks number 37, with a duration of 2 minutes 23 seconds.

And, while things take forever to get accomplished on Capitol Hill, love gets done very fast in the District of Columbia. D.C. is ranked number 45, with a duration of 2 minutes 8 seconds.

Here’s the entire list:

Ranking	State – (Duration)
1	New Mexico – (7:01)
2	West Virginia – (5:38)
3	Idaho – (5:11)
4	South Carolina – (4:48)
5	Missouri – (4:22)
6	Michigan -(4:14)
7	Utah – (3:55)
8	Oregon – (3:51)
9	Nebraska – (3:47)
10	Alabama – (3:38)
11	Delaware – (3:33)
12	Hawaii – (3:28)
13	Wisconsin – (3:22)
14	North Dakota – (3:18)
15	Arizona – (3:17)
16	Maryland – (3:15)
17	Mississippi – (3:10)
18	Rhode Island – (3:09)
19	Connecticut – (3:07)
20	Texas – (3:06)
21	New Hampshire – (3:04)
22	Wyoming – (3:03)
23	New York – (3:01)
24	Pennsylvania – (2:58)
25	Maine – (2:58)
26	Washington – (2:51)
27	Iowa – (2:50)
28	Illinois – (2:49)
29	North Carolina – (2:47)
30	Tennessee – (2:46)
31	Kansas – (2:38)
32	California – (2:38)
33	Massachusetts – (2:31)
34	Florida – (2:29)
35	New Jersey – (2:28)
36	Indiana – (2:26)
37	Virginia – (2:23)
38	Oklahoma – (2:21)
39	Colorado – (2:21)
40	Minnesota – (2:19)
41	Ohio – (2:18)
42	Louisiana – (2:17)
43	Kentucky – (2:14)
44	Arkansas – (2:08)
45	District of Columbia – (2:08)
46	Nevada – (2:07)
47	Georgia – (2:07)
48	Montana – (2:03)
49	Vermont – (1:48)
50	South Dakota – (1:30)
51	Alaska – (1:21)

Stand Up To Government Corruption and Hypocrisy – usbacklash.org